Sunday, July 12, 2015
Home Bound Part One
Nurse Macy entered the room and I flinched.
“Your wife is on the way with your urinal. Would you like me or her to help you with it?” she asked.
“Not you!” I fired back.
“Good choice Mr. Thunder. I’m checking your numbers and will most likely remove your I.V. And, Dr. Jum Pei has you down for another round of brain x-rays. After you’ve emptied your bladder we’ll take you for that. If all goes well, you might even be released before tonight. You are doing very well.”
“I hope so. No offense, I want out of here, the sooner the better. I hate hospitals,” I said.
Macy finished her check up as Daisy came back.
Stubborn and getting ornery, I insisted on standing so I could piss in the jug, alone. My leg, ten pounds heavier because of the cast that came up to my knee, wasted no time in making its agony known.
Putting most of my weight on my left foot, I leaned against the bed and peed in the jug.
Flash, BAM, BOOM, boom, boom. Lightening struck nearby and the scare of it made me jerk so hard that my aim went off. I piddled on the floor like an anxious dog. On the other side of the privacy curtain, Daisy and Macy giggled.
“Ah, Mr. Thunder, your namesake got the best of you and when you’re done marking your territory, we’ll get your scan done,” said Nurse Macy.
“Dammit all. Leave me alone to my task or you’ll see how thunderous I can be.”
I shivered while struggling with my balance and mobility, and not from voiding my bladder. Something ominous, the spiritual equivalent of a wood tick, had attached itself to me since going downstate. It alternated feeding on my essence and projectile vomited venom back into me.
No, based on how full and heavy it was feeling, I think it found me much earlier, childhood maybe. Venom, the word reminded me of the conversation with Thorny at the river. He started out talking about bee venom used for healing but went on to say I had pain that had turned poisonous. Yes, I recalled, and the exchange ended with Clay catching that big trout.
“Here,” I said. “Hon, take my jug will you?”
Straddling my piss pool, Daisy pulled the curtain open and took my pee. The storm outside moved on quickly while the one forming within me built up pressure.
“My gosh,” she said, “I’ve taken your crap all these years and now this.”
Macy clucked her tongue and shook her head with a knowing-nurse smile.
Surly, I voiced my wishes adamantly. “Nurse, get me down to the photo lab so I get my brain dosed with radiation and get the hell out of here.”
Intervening, Daisy jumped in with, “It isn’t personal Macy. Painkillers mess with his mood, that and the fact he needs some protein.”
“Don’t make excuses for me dear,” I said, “I can feel any damned way I want without explanation.”
Nurse Macy finished cleaning up the floor and tried to assure me.
“Mr. Thunder, I owe you for the pain I caused earlier with that catheter. I’ll push for getting you a speedy release for home. Mrs. Thunder, go the break room refrigerator. I have a sack lunch with my name on it. Bring that tuna sandwich for your husband to hold him over.”
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