Sunday, April 5, 2015

Faith in Unbelief




Trying desperately to figure out his madness, demon, or curse being expressed in multiple personalities, I stared at my buddy. I was shaken by what happened to me, being cast back in time to a younger self with a mere touch which failed an explanation. 

Clay, as Aura, wore an expression of peace and certainty I could scarcely imagine. Still, I longed for it as a Holy Grail, sacred birch bark bowl in my case being Native. His, her, searching gaze into my eyes provoked me to joy and rage. Craving a single winner in the emotional scuffle, I chewed at the side of my tongue until Clay spoke.

“Oh my, I see you are in quite the struggle. You poor thing, life has your one arm and the devil the other. You’re a human wish bone aren’t you Mr. Migizi? You don’t know what to believe so choose to place your faith in unbelief.”

Chewing my tongue any harder would have necessitated a trip to emergency and then the damnedest thing took place. Movement caught my eye and a praying mantis made its way to the top of Clay’s right shoulder. It must’ve climbed up his back. Clay’s dominant arm was his left.

“Aura,” I said, after hiding my tongue from my teeth, “for a young gal you seem pretty wise and insightful. Can you give further explanation to my so called unbelief? And sorry, I hesitate to call zapping me a divinely gifted touch.” 

Clay, while loading a response, diddled with his hair like a young girl might. Meanwhile, the mantis made itself comfy. Remaining still, it prayed while sitting upon Clay’s weak side. The symbolism wasn’t squandered. Prayer was Clay’s strength when weak. Me? I trusted what I perceived as strength in myself and denied obvious weakness lest I too fall prey and pray to religion and its trappings.

Giggling hard with a fake youngster’s voice (it gave me the shivers) Aura responded with, “I told you so.”

“Told me what?”

“I said you believe in unbelief Mr. Migizi and that’s why you doubt or hesitate as you called it. You know, about my gift. Even more, you don’t believe in Clay’s belief which is like saying you don’t believe in Clay. Like I said, I know him; know him to believe in the Great Spirit.”

I was certain that bug on Clays shoulder clapped. Frustration and impatience grew toward Aura and I leaned forward to take it out on the bug bugging me.

“No, no, Mr. Migizi, leave Francis alone or I’ll have to touch you again,” said Aura, smirking slightly.

“Listen Aura, I believe in my friend without believing what he believes. I respect that about him even though…”

“…even though you think he’s ignorant for believing a fairy tale?” asked Aura. 

That was it for me. My poor ole brain was done. I expected a little white and red button to pop out of my head somewhere that said so. I felt for the shotgun shell in my pocket and delivered it from 78 cents worth of change.

Pulling it out, I showed it to Aura. An innocent grin met my stare. Unlike the persona of Joy who faded away, Aura had parting words.

“Nice to finally meet you in person Mr. Migizi. I’ll be back to check on you sometime. Bye.”

Crawling up to Clay’s neck, Francis touched skin and my buddy returned. 

“Francis? Aura? Oh my,” he said.

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